The Unexpected - and Asking for a Couple of Favors

Saturday, June 22, 2019



Matt and I on our wedding day in 2005, almost 14 years ago! (Photo by Schippert + Martin photography.)

I tried to figure out the best way to convey this information. I feel weird about putting it in a blog post, since this blog has evolved from 'fun art projects with the kids' to 'sales-y fashion and shopping posts', and I have never used it to share any deeply personal information. I thought about just doing a long post in my Facebook group, since that where most of you found me. However, I figured I should make it public and permanent, just in case this information helps others. In the future, this will keep on being a fashion/shopping blog, but I will occasionally post updates.

Up until the end of May, things were going extremely well. Matt and I had a conversation in our kitchen, some time in late May about how things were almost TOO good and we joked that "something bad has to happen now." We had bought a beautiful house that we love almost two years ago, work was going generally very well for both of us, we had just taken an amazing family vacation to Costa Rica in February and Matt had booked a trip to London with his dad and brother at the end of June. The kids were almost out of school for Summer and we had just found out that a couple of our good friends were moving back here (to the Boston area) from the West coast. We were so excited to be able to hang out with them again! (They have two boys also.) Plus all our family members were basically happy and healthy. So things were great and we felt very lucky.

On May 30, Matt woke up with a vein protruding on the side of his neck. It wasn't painful but it looked odd so he googled it and came up with a bunch of bad/scary things. We asked several docs we know and they thought it probably wasn’t anything major, but that he should have it checked out. The next day he took the day off work, went into urgent care and had a chest X-ray. There was something on the X-ray but the doctor couldn’t really tell what it was. She set him up with a CAT scan but they couldn’t fit him in until almost a week later (June 6th.) I was annoyed about that, but Matt had no other symptoms and felt totally fine, so we were not too worried. We guessed maybe there was some sort of blockage of an artery/vein and that maybe he'd need medication or, at most, surgery. On Friday morning, (June 7th) Matt’s primary care doctor called him at work and bluntly told him he had a 9 centimeter tumor in his chest which was compressing an artery (the tumor is about the size of a baseball.) He told Matt to get to the ER as soon as possible.

Matt’s mom died of lung cancer at 54, so when I heard this I was stunned and terrified and thought "my husband is going to die." My one consolation was that the tumor didn't appear to be in either of the lungs. We were immediately seen at the ER and they did bloodwork and more tests. I asked the lead doctor there if she thought it was cancer, and she said yes, she thought it was some type of lymphoma. I was actually really grateful for her honesty. I think at that point Matt was sort of in shock.

Matt was admitted to the hospital that night and on Saturday the 8th a thoracic surgeon went into his chest and took out some of the tumor. She told me it was definitely cancer of some type, and she agreed as we were initially told, probably a lymphoma. On Sunday morning a doc came in and confirmed it was definitely a lymphoma, and that it would take a while for pathology to figure out which type and sub-type. Then we waited two excruciatingly long days for the pathology report to come back. In the meantime, Matt was moved to the oncology ward. We met his team of cancer docs.

On Tuesday June 11th, we finally got a diagnosis, and the news was very good (well, as good as it possibly could be). It is Classic Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, and our doc said that in Matt’s case that meant a “better than 90%” survival rate. He does need 6 months of chemo and immunotherapy, and started on Wednesday June 12th. They sent him home on Thursday and the chemo will be on an outpatient basis. So far he feels fine, just very sleepy some days. But he will be taking a 6 month break from work.

Matt is thin, generally in good health, and a non-smoker. He had NO other symptoms other than mild fatigue, a few days earlier he had been out on the court playing an intense basketball game with the kids and felt fine, so this was completely shocking - but Hodgkin's often strikes people a lot younger than Matt (and arbitrarily - this is not one of those cancers you can avoid by getting into shape or eating right. You can read more about Hodgkin's here. And please read about the symptoms, here.

By funny coincidence (okay... not really funny at all), on the day I was supposed to be picking Matt up from the hospital, the school nurse called, to say my son Alex needed to go to the ER. It turned out that Alex has broken two of his toes at gym class and has to be in a boot and walk with crutches for a few weeks. (Agh.)

So... we are very well set to deal with this. My parents live close by and we have good support from our friends and other various relatives. I work for myself, from home and have a very flexible schedule. But I'm going to ask you guys for a couple of easy favors. One is for me - the other one is for you.

First - if you belong to my Facebook group, please message me good shopping deals when you come across them, (and new product recommendations are always appreciated too.) Please use my Facebook profile or info@samplesalemom.com. I want to keep my business going pretty much as usual over the next few months, and this helps me out since some days I won't be able to work much. It also helps your fellow members, since it makes the group so much better. I get a lot of messages and emails so I may not be able to respond to them all, but I really appreciate it when you guys send me deals! (And thanks SO much to those of you who have been doing this already lately. This has been so incredibly helpful guys.)

Second - and this is the important one *Please, please take ten minutes right now and make any doctors appointments you’ve been putting off.* If you have a weird pain, or some lingering symptom, get it checked out. In Matt’s case, he had just had a physical a month ago where they didn’t catch this. But I have another friend who is undergoing chemo right now for breast cancer after finally making a mammogram appointment that she had put off. It's highly preferable to catch these things as early as possible.

Matt and I are optimists and we're feeling very optimistic right now - however, we would feel even better if we could save one of your lives! So get yourselves to the doctor (and if that turns out to have been really good advice, please write and tell me. I won't publicize it, I just want to know that I helped someone.)

On our trip to Costa Rica in February. At this point the tumor was already growing and we had no idea.

The boys visiting Matt in the hospital the day of his biopsy. (Yes... they felt they needed to play doctor and wear the hospital gloves. Sigh...) 

30 comments :

  1. Sending your husband and family all the good and healthy vibes I can muster! I have been putting off my own physical for an embarrassingly long time. I will make an appointment this week!

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    1. Thank you! Yes as a favor to me, please make your appointments. I tend to procrastinate things too, like... everything... but with medical appointments the payoff of going on time could be enormous.

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  2. Wow. I can imagine this is incredibly shocking for everyone. I am an oncology nurse and worked in the infusion center for several years. He is young, healthy and has the odds on his side. The chemo will make him tired but he will do well. The nurses and Oncology team will be an amazing support, take advantage of them as much as you can. I wish you and your family so much love and hope during this time. You guys got this!

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  3. Thank you! I lost my first husband 11 years ago. It was something out of the blue... MDS, with no other precursors! I'm a walking billboard for life insurance, bc we got it JUST 2 WEEKS before!!
    I was 30 left with 2 lil girls.
    So I agree with you, PUT YOUR HEALTH FIRST.
    much love xoxoxoxo

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    1. I am really sorry to read this! That must have been SO hard. And yes, for SURE life insurance. We have a large policy on me but unfortunately Matt refused to get it when I signed up. I have another friend who had a heart attack in his early 40s and didn't get life insurance til afterward, and now his premiums are sky high. It's really, really affordable if you buy it when you're healthy.

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  4. Hoping all goes well for your hubby.

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  5. Sending you positive thoughts. Living and working myself at a major Boston hospital I’m grateful you and your husband are in such a great area for care! ������

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  6. I am so sorry to hear this! Sending lots of positive thoughts your way! How scary!

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  7. My best friend had this. And while it was a long 6 months she is now 6 years out and thriving! Will be thinking of you and your husband and kids. The caregiver takes a tremendous amount on—so please take care of yourself (my sister had breast’s cancer 2 years ago at the age of 40 and I was the one driving her to all chemo etc so her husband could work). Prayers and positive thoughts.

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    1. Thank you!! This is extra-challenging right now since my older son's toes are broken too so he needs to be helped with a lot. Once he gets healed he can pitch in a lot more and help with his dad.

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  8. Just don't forget to take care of yourself also. It is extremely hard on the person trying to be everything for everyone. If you are in the Boston area, you know there are some of the best hospitals around and I'm sure they will take care of your husband and he will be as good as new. This will take time but look at it as a stumble in the journey of life. He can do this, you can do this and your family and friends will help you do this. Prayers for healing and health to you and your family.

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    1. Absolutely! And thank you. We are really lucky to have my mom and dad here, they help me out with so much and babysit so that makes it much easier.

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  9. Prayers for Matt and your family. You have a good support system and good doctors to help you through this.

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  10. Sending you and your family positive thoughts and prayers! My husband was diagnosed with Hodgkin's at 24. We were returning from our first tropical vacation together and our flight was cancelled. We spent the night in the airport but as we were waiting, he happened to feel a lump on his throat. I figured it was just a bug bite or something but he felt like something was wrong so as soon as we landed the next morning off to the ER we went and a few days later he had his diagnosis. Like you said, if you're going to have Cancer this is the best to get and over 10 years later he's perfectly healthy with 3 kids! Keep your head up and don't forget to ask for help when you need it!

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    1. Thank you! And good for him for being proactive and getting to the ER right away!

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  11. Thank you for sharing this private part of your life. I'll be keeping y'all in my prayers and looking out for updates on Matt's recovery! Also your son's! (Ouch!)

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  12. Loved reading this. We are here for you guys ALL THE WAY.

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  13. Thank you for sharing! I just want to say that I can relate in a way. My now husband was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma 6 months after we started dating. He had a lump in his jaw after he had his wisdom teeth out in January. He felt fine and we thought nothing of this nor did the oral surgeon since the first biopsy in April was negative. He does not drink or smoke. However, the lump was growing so he went to a different Oral surgeon at MGH in June. The results returned on July 11th as Hodgkins and we got right in to see an oncologist that week. The oncologist was great and basically told him "I can cure you with 6 rounds of chemo". He was absolutely right. Now more than 7 years cancer free. This is by no means easy for any of you and he will have good and bad days, but you are in good hands and I pray for the best and a full recovery.

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    1. Oh good, I always like to read happy ending stories about this!

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  14. Thanks for sharing your life. I’m happy to hear that it is treatable and such an amazing survival rate! My dad passed from lymphoma a few years ago... 2 months from his diagnosis. His main symptom was a sore back. Question- did he have bloodwork done at his physical and nothing came back alarming? I feel like I’m constantly nagging friends to make appointments.

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    1. He did. My impression is that the bloodwork doesn't necessarily show this type of cancer unless they are looking/testing for the specific markers. Which is a real bummer because I always thought that too!!! A physical can't catch everything, but there are lots of things it CAN catch, so it's worth going whenever you're due. Good for you for bugging friends and so sorry to hear about your dad!

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